


Days of Erchi

by BatSnake



Series: Fugitive 777 [3]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Irken OC, Red bull gives you smeets with wings, Zim dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-09-30 13:13:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20447699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatSnake/pseuds/BatSnake
Summary: Zim comes home from one intergalactic adventure to find something grew in his lab. He ends up needs help from the last people who will give it to him.





	Days of Erchi

Zim had intended to arrive back at his base with dignity. With a calm, graceful stride out of his Voot Runner and into the room below.  
Instead, he collapsed face-first onto the "living room" floor, with a long crackling groan.  
GIR skittered out of the ship, giggling incessantly.  
"LOOKIT THAT SPACE MOTH!" He pointed at the top of the Voot Runner.  
Zim rolled over, half dazed to get a view of what GIR was pointing at - and started shrieking as a massive creature - with brilliant curling white and green speckled wings and fluffy antennae - descended on him, unfurling a curled proboscis on his face and puncturing him in the shoulder.  
"OH NO, ONE STILL LIVES!"

Zim grappled for the ray gun that had been clipped to a holster on his hip and fired it below the creature's neck.  
Within an instant, the space moth exploded into goop. Its remains splattered across the whole living room.  
There was a quiet pause, broken by a lowly spoken "Ew." from GIR. Who then tottered off into the kitchen.  
Zim sat up, clutching his shoulder. He felt something hard and round in the wound.  
"Well...better get whatever this thing is out before it explodes out of me in a few weeks. Like one of those dumb Earth movies." He grumbled, struggling to his feet. "And then...clean this..." He gagged. "Mess."

He skulked to the toilet that lead to his lab and went down the tubing to it. As he pulled out his arm from his sleeve, he almost didn't notice GIR pressed up the tube-like cell that once contained Prisoner 777's offspring. The letters beneath it had barely been scrummed out, until only "ER CHI" remained.  
He yelped, finally noticing GIR in the cell.  
He hunched and sighed when he realized what he was seeing.  
"GIR, I need a moment." He casually slapped his hand across the giant red button. A bright white flash consumed the tube.  
"WHEEE!" GIR exclaimed as he appeared to have dissolved.  
"That'll give me a few minutes." Zim plopped down in a medical seat. "Computer, bring up the BIG MIRROR and some...tiny pinchy tools."  
"Ugh. Fine." The computer echoed.

A large magnifying mirror shot up from the floor with a pair of medical forceps on a steel tray. Zim wedged the tips into the hole in his shoulder and was quickly able to pull at a small, hard ball, with a pained squeal.  
He threw down the forceps with the ball.  
"Ok, that's over!" He grabbed a little bottle that was also on the tray and sprayed it on the hole until it sealed.  
At that point, GIR tottered around from the hallway.  
"I traveled through space and time! What'd you do???" He leaned over Zim's shoulder as he took a closer look at the ball he pulled from his shoulder.  
"I got this...whatever this is." Zim shrugged. "Probably nothing." H! flicked it to a wall, where it disappeared behind the teleporter cell.  
"You really shouldn't have done that." The computer sighed.  
"Zim does what he wishes!" Zim shook his fist.  
"It's medical waste!" The computer retaliated.  
"Well, it's gone now!" Zim crossed his arms.

There was a beat of silence.  
"Do youuuuuuu want to travel through space and time?" GIR leaned in uncomfortably close to Zim.  
Zim glanced between the teleportation tube and GIR.  
"Yeah, sure." He shrugged.  
"But you have--" The computer started as Zim hopped into the tube and GIR slammed the button. "Beep!"   
The computer groaned as Zim disappeared in a flash.  
"I suppose I'll clean up the bug mess. I guess."

  
**SOME TIME LATER**

Another return.  
Zim cracked his fingers, tossing an elaborate crown made of twigs and precious stones off of his head, save for one large jewel.  
"Well. I learned something today. Never trust a royal vizier! AND! Your Queen loves you and her people more than we deserve!" He hung his head and clicked his tongue with his arms crossed. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. Poor, poor Xilicalia."  
He snapped back upwards. "But today is not the day for grief! No day is a day for grief for Zim!"  
He descended down to the lab. "Today, I plot my conquest of Earth!" He held the jewel aloft. "With this, I can power my machines and--" As he stepped out of the transport tube, he stopped, frozen.  
"I don't have Prisoner 777 under my command anymore. I can't get the machines!" He realized. "Then Xilicalia's brave and noble sacrifice was for nothing!" He howled, dropping to his knees.  
"XIXI NOOOO!" GIR collapsed on the floor beside him, producing an enormous well of tears that leaked across the floor.

As Zim bemoaned the failure to complete his plans moreso than Queen Xilicalia, he noticed something in the shadows of his lab. Big, glowing orbs growing closer in the darkness. Closer and closer. Until Zim realized how small they were. He could hear tiny pats of steps. And emerging into the light.  
"Papa?"  
A smeet stared up at him. It didn't look that much different from him. Except it was wandering around comfortably without a PAK.  
"H--wuh?" Zim blinked.  
"Papa!" It mad a mad dash for him.  
"No! Zim is no one's Papa!" Zim fell backwards, scooting himself away. The smeet threw itself at him and hugged his torso with a high-pitched giggle.  
"Yay! Papa!" GIR flung his arms around Zim's head.  
"Stop it, GIR!" Zim wailed.  
"Nyaaaaaaaa." Minimoose floated down from the ceiling and settled itself on Zim's shoulder.  
In that time, the smeet had shuffled itself up to Zim's chest. Zim craned back, gritting in discomfort at how close it was to his face.  
"And what do you want- OW!" It bit him hard on the jaw. Something in his squeedlyspooch seized violently after a moment of failing to dislodge the smeet. He kicked himself upright before he could vomit.  
Somehow, it felt like vomiting...in a good way?  
The smeet grabbed at his face until Zim could hold it away as far as he could and turn it around.

"Where did you even come from!?" Zim hacked and gagged.  
"Computer, show me security footage from the day!" He carred the smeet under his arm to the lab screen.  
"Whatever." The computer projected footage from the time Zim left, leaving a scene of nothing.  
"Fast forward until something moves." Zim waved his hand impatiently. It still took a minute. Until...  
The smeet came tottering out from behind the teleportation tube.  
"Whu--" Zim whirled on his heels to look at it and hurred to look behind it.  
There was a massive, gloppy stain coating the wall, with a thin, sticky film.  
Zim remembered the hard ball he had thrown behind there.  
"Space moths." He growled. He held the smeet at arm's length. "You don't LOOK like a space moth." He eyed it up and down. The smeet stuck its tongue out at him.

"Wat'cha gonna call hiiiiim?" GIR waddled up behind him.  
"I'm not naming it." Zim's mouth twitched.  
"But we goootta name it!" GIR stamped his feet.  
"FINE! Ehh..." He looked at the letters that had been scrubbed out on the teleportation tube. "Er...chi. Erchi." He dropped the smeet into GIR's arms.  
"WOOO! ERCHI!" GIR swung the smeet and tottered around with thim. "BABY ERCHI!"  
"Don't get attached, GIR, we're not keeping it around." Zim crossed his arms.  
"Wuaaah noooo!" GIR clutched the smeet. "Not our baby boy! Noooo!" He wailed.  
Zim once again noted the lack of a PAK. "Although it could make a good research subject. He's made it way more than ten minutes without a PAK. That's...interesting." Zim rubbed his chin.  
"But first I must tell the Tallest!" He marched to the communication screen.

"Computer! Connect me to the Tallest!" He slammed his hands down on the control panel.  
"Ok, fine."  
For a little bit, a tone of Tallest Purple singing played. He tapped his foot in waiting as the song dragged on longer than normal.  
  
Soon GIR was singing along, holding the Erchi high aloft above his head and swaying him.

_\--But don't get angry 'cuz you did it all wrong_  
_If you keep on going _  
_You'll get a whole bunch of snacks  
When we keep on conquering --_

The Tallest clicked into frame.  
"MY TALLEST!" Zim shouted, startling his leaders mid-snacking. Purple choked on the popcorn he was munching. Red rushed to swat his back until a kernel shot out of his mouth.  
"Zim, what do you want?!" Red held Purple up by the arm while he wheezed.   
"I made THIS!" Zim pointed at Erchi, while GIR danced.  
  
"_FOR THE TALLEST THAT ARE **STILL ALIVE!**_" GIR screeched. Erchi didn't seem disrupted by the noise, but rather giggled profusely at being held so high. 

"Is that a smeet?" Purple squinted.  
"Why doesn't it have a PAK?" Red was baffled.  
"That's what I want to find out! I'm asking permission to research it." Zim crossed his arms.   
"...But where did it come from?" Purple sputtered.   
"That's what I'm going to find out!" Zim thrust his chest out. "Also, space moths. Stabbing me in the shoulder with their terrible straw mouths." He let himself go lax.   
"Ugh. Fine. Fine. Do your weird smeet research." Red waved. "As long as it doesn't interfere with your..._conquest_." Red resisted a sarcastic smirk.  
"Many thank you, My Tallest! I will not disappoint you!" Zim ended the call.  
  
Purple cleared his throat awkwardly.  
"Did um...did that smeet make you want to throw up...but in a _good way_?"   
Red scowled in disgust. "Why would I want to do that???"  
"...I don't know and I'm scared!" Purple quivered. 

Zim walked back to GIR.   
"And now...now..." Zim frowned and tapped his foot. "Now to...figure out what I'm doing." He took Erchi back, and immediately held him far from his face. "No! No! What do you want?!" He wailed as Erchi tried to grab him.  
"Paaaapaaaa!" Erchi squealed.   
Zim held Erchi high above his head, considering his options. He sank with a groggy moan.   
"Well...let's go risk getting stomped, GIR. Or...whatever it is that the Dib would do instead." He went up the tube to the house part of the lab.

************************

The former Prisoner 777 perched atop the Spittle Runner that was Tak's ship, working on one of the engines and giving it a small tune-up.  
"You're SURE Tak wanted to be an Invader?" He asked the ship.  
"Absolutely sure." The ship responded.  
"Pff! If I had gotten a chance to meet her - and still be an engineer for my own people instead of a prisoner for the Irken Empire..." He tightened a valve. "I would hire her on my team in a heartbeat." He wiped his forehead. "She did an incredible job building you. She's brilliant!"   
"Well, I'll take that compliment, I AM Tak's personality."   
  
777 closed the opening and slid down to the floor. "That should be a good enough touch-up." He pulled oversized rubber gloves off his hands. He'd just started moving into cleaner clothes when he heard a familiar voice screaming outside.  
"HEY! HEY, VORTIAN!" He heard Zim screaming.   
777 scowled. "Zim." He grumbled. He stepped into the kitchen, where Dib was at the table, snacking on cereal while reading. "Zim's outside." 777 told him with a low voice.  
"Zim! What does he want!?" Dib slammed his book shut.   
"Me, apparently." 777 crossed his arms. "So I can't go outside lest I be seen. So..."   
  
Dib grumbled to himself and got off his chair.   
"Letting Zim into my house. MY HOUSE!" HE stomped to the door and pulling it open.  
He saw Zim was calling at the garage, holding something under his arm.   
"Zim!" Dib shouted. Zim whipped his head in his direction.  
"Dib! I was not calling for you!" Zim stormed to the front door.  
"I know. He's inside." Dib reluctantly waved him in. 

Zim cackled hysterically. "I'm INVITED into the Dib house!" He hopped through the threshold.   
He found 777 at the kitchen table, arms and legs crossed with irritation, and all three babies laying in a vintage baby pram he had repaired.   
"What do you want, Zim?" The words that used to have a friendly tone now dripped venomously.   
"I made this!" He thrust Erchi into view.   
777's expression turned from sour anger to confusion.   
"Is that a -- how?!"   
"Zim had a baby!?" Dib nearly dropped to his knees.  
"No! A smeet appeared in my lab!" Zim let the smeet hang at his side like a doll as he spun around to deride Dib. "A space moth stung me, I pulled out its moth pellet, let the pellet disappear and THERE IT WAS." He cleared his throat. "Well, there after my brief stint as King of Planet Yurf."   
777 rose nervously and edged toward Zim.   
  
"_Please_ don't do that." He picked up the smeet from Zim's hold. He raised a brow at its dazed look as it started to whine. "Has it eaten recently?" He asked, then rolled his eyes. "Nah, I know that look."  
"I don't even know where to start. All its done is call me Papa and bite my face! Now whenever it touches my Zim face, I feel _siiiick_!" Zim's fingers curled in disgust.   
777 started to sneer, in a way that made Zim nervous.  
"Grabbing your face and making you feel sick, huh?" He approached Zim with his hand extended. "Why don't we find out what happens when you do?"   
Zim didn't back away, freezing nervously. He cringed, hesitantly leaning in slowly. He lurched when 777 pinched the corner of his mouth with all his fingers. Hard.  
Zim lost control and retched, falling forward and coughing up a thick, gold-colored glob. 

  
The pupils on his human contacts shrank.   
777 had already lurched back in horror at what had happened.  
"Great Vort, what was that!? That's not what I expected!" He ducked behind the table.   
"What were YOU expecting?!" Zim wailed. "What is that has come out of my body!?"   
"Actual regurgitated --- no, wait that's...that would also have been...that would have been worse." 777 halted his train of thought. "Oh, way worse..."  
  
Dib too panicked at first sight, slamming himself against a wall. But while he observed the aliens arguing, he noticed something familiar about the substance Zim had so horrifically coughed up.  
"It's honey!" He called out plainly.   
Zim and 777 paused a moment.   
"Don't be silly! ANTS make honey! Zim is no ant!" Zim wheezed.  
"**_Bees_** make honey." Dib corrected. "And also." He rummaged in the pantry and slammed a bear-shaped container on the table. "It looks just like this." He opened the container and held it so it dripped next to what was on the floor.  
"Oh, jeez, don't make the mess worse." 777 sighed wearily.  
The substances blended seamlessly. Dib closed the lid and tossed it onto the table behind him. It landed on its side.  
Dib turned, hoping it landed upright.   
"Oh." His shoulders fell in disappointment. 

777 noticed Erchi wiggle and reach for it excitedly. He sat down and planted the smeet in his lap, ran some of the honey over his finger and popped it in his mouth.   
The smeet's antennae spread apart and wiggled.   
"Yeah, you like that, huh? But I'm...gonna need my hand back." The smeet wouldn't let him move it, grasping his free fingers in his little hands.  
"Spoon?" Dib offered.   
"Spoon would be great." 777 nodded.   
"Good for the spoon!" Zim panted. "Because THAT...is not happening again!" He pointed at what he had coughed up on the floor.   
"Yeah, _please_ don't do that again." 777 cringed, taking a prepared spoon from Dib and sliding it into the smeet's mouth. He grabbed the handle himself and gnawed happily on it. 

There was an awkward beat of silence.  
"I'm gonna...clean that up." Dib ran water in the sink. Silence again as Zim plopped himself on a chair, gasping for breath.   
"So...has it been named, or..." Dib looked around awkwardly.  
"Erchi." Zim wheezed.  
"Archie???" Dib raised a brow. "Why would you name it Archie?"  
"_Erchi_! I scrubbed out the teleportation cell paint and that's all that didn't come away!" Zim cast a glance at 777, who scowled at the mention of the teleportation tube.   
"You named him after the way you _threatened my children?_" 777 pointed to where they were sleeping.   
"They were the nearest letters! I wasn't naming it in the first place and now...I'm...researching it." Zim watched 777's expression go darker.  
"So why did you come here?" 777 held the smeet protectively over his shoulder. 

Zim tightened and squirmed and pouted. "I...needed _help_. And now, I got the help I needed! Hand over the honey!" He pointed at the bottle, which 777 was refilling the spoon with.   
"That...that's our honey." Dib blinked. "Get your own."   
"It's Erchi's honey now!" Zim pounced on the table and snatched it as soon as it was back on the table. He plucked up Erchi from 777's arm, spoon and all, and to the floor.  
He nearly slipped and tumbled on the honey puddle he'd regurgitated, but re-balanced himself, curving around the corner, and bolted out the door. He had left shiny, sticky tracks

"That..." Dib watched his exit down the street from the window. "That was uncomfortable. I've had some weird things happen with Zim, but that was..." He faced 777, who was staring at his hands with a twitch in his eye as if he were having a war flashback.   
"Dude, are you okay?" Dib touched his shoulder, snapping him back.   
"Yeah. I'm fine." He took a deep breath and rubbed his forehead.   
As Dib got a towel wet to clean the kitchen's linoleum floor, he raised a brow at 777, noticing something about him that he hadn't in the days before.  
"Do you have--" He started.  
"A crop top I found in your father's old storage box? Yes." 777 nodded.  
Dib gawked.  
"I was going to say 'six nipples', but _that_ just brings up a lot of questions about my dad that I don't want to ask!"   
777 laughed and rested his arms at the top of the chair. "Eight, actually!"  
Dib's mouth twitched. He rang out the towel and stomped to the mess he had to clean up.   
"Hey, I have three mouths to feed!"   
Dib ignored him, now wanting to only focus on the task at hand.

************************

When Zim returned to his base, he found GIR upside down on the couch watching _Floopsie Bloops Schmoopsie_, coated in grape jelly with a corner of burnt toast hanging out of his mouth.   
"GIR! The problem was honey!" He raised the bear-shaped container aloft - even as Erchi reached for it eagerly.   
"I want!" He peeped.   
"Do you?!" Zim looked at the smeet under his arm.   
And something clicked when he noticed Erchi's enormous red eyes. Like a tiny Zim. Tiny little pocket Zim. The "Lil' Meat Man" feeling from a little while ago started to resurface.  
"YOU DO!" Zim swept his arm around Erchi so he was sitting up right. He took long strides to the couch and plopped down on it.   
"Jelly butt." GIR observed, but went ignored when Zim popped the top off the honey and let it drizzle into Erchi's open mouth.  
"And the Vortian was giving you a spoon! FOOL!"

************************

Zim didn't really keep track of time. Even forgetting he had to go to the Skool. Save for a few conquest tasks, he poured energy into Erchi. 

Starting with buying piles of honey from the store. Didn't matter the brand. Container. Raw or processed. Whipped. Extra flavors. Anything he could sweep into the cart with his arm.   
He learned quickly that Erchi didn't like agave nectar- and so he dumped what he had of that on Dib's porch. 

************************

He took him to the human park and pushed him on a child's swing until he sailed out of it - and then had to bolt to catch him. They fell in a pond, scattering the ducks that had been floating in it. They had a brief moment of shock, but laughed together after they had a moment to collect themselves. 

************************

Zim plopped Erchi on the floor of his lab and lectured him on Irken history; he didn't have a PAK for it to download it to, so it was better to teach him orally. "It all began in the caves of Irk when..."

************************

Erchi fell asleep on GIR's back, both completely coated in honey from head to toe. Zim shook a little, thinking of all the cleaning he'd have to do. But Minimoose floated by, hauling a bucket of warm water, handle over its back, and dropping it next to the two. Zim removed his gloves, rolled up his sleeves, and grabbed the sponge floating at the top of the water. As he picked up the sticky Erchi, he noticed he was starting to sprout wings - and his antennae were turning fuzzy.   
Zim shrugged, not thinking too much of it.  
  
If he were a "natural born" Irken, as Zim assumed in his study, maybe ancient Irkens had wings and fuzzy antennae. Irkens with wings! Who was the idiot who thought it was a good idea to remove that from the gene pool?  
Maybe some Space Moth genes were kicking in.

************************

Soon, Zim was reporting his findings directly to the Tallest. The honey, the wings, the fuzzy antennae.   
For once, the Tallest were a little invested in what Zim had to say. Especially once they noticed a change in the back of the lab.   
Where Erchi had been sitting, he started to pump his tiny white and green wings until he came off the ground and fluttered a few inches off the floor, gaining higher and higher while Zim presented analytics of the wing growth.   
"Hey, your smeet is flying." Purple casually pointed. 

"Hm?" Zim looked over his shoulder. "ERCHI!" He squealed. "Erchi, you fly! My baby smeet boy FLIES!" He rushed under Erchi to watch.   
"Behold, Tallest! The Irken who flies with his own wings!" He splayed his arms with maniacal pride.   
"HE FLIES!" GIR joined in the cheering. 

"Good for him." Red nodded, raising his slush drink and taking a sip.   
He noticed Purple pouting a little bit. "What's with you?" He asked.   
"I wanna fly!"   
Red looked at his feet. "But you're floating right now!" He reminded him.  
"Aw, it's not the same..." Purple crossed his arms.  
Somehow, Red could tell he was lying. He seemed more jealous of Zim's pride than the smeet's flight. 

************************

"How come other Irken don't fly?" Erchi was speaking full sentences now.   
"We aren't made with wings." Zim had found a mascara brush and was using it to comb Erchi's antennae, which bristled with every stroke.   
"I'm different in a lot of ways, aren't I?" Erchi noticed.  
"I mean, you came from a Space Moth, not a smeetery." Zim flicked the tops of the fuzzy antennae.  
"So I could breathe in space?" Erchi wondered.  
"Pff! I don't know! We'll find out when you fly stronger."   
Erchi stared out the window from where he sat in front of the couch.   
"We'll have plenty of space adventures!" Zim assured him. "And adventures conquering EARTH!" His tone turned maniacal.   
"Heh." He stopped and giggled lowly. "You have a star on your wings." He pointed at a spot that was shaped like a wobbly five-pointed star. 

************************

Vahr-Roh-Zah. 

  
Feared intergalactic war criminal. Known across galaxies as the Smasher of Things.  
Despite his name, which suggested massive bulk, he was tall and spindly, with long fingers and limbs. Ten dark eyes scattered across his face over a thin, but toothy mouth.  
Now on Earth for the Irken and Vortian Technologies he had tracked down.   
That was, until...

Erchi squirmed in the net he had been snagged in from midair, struggling to escape, getting a small electric shock with every movement.   
A few yards behind him, Zim was upon Vahr-Roh-Zah, blasting him wildly in the face with rockets from his PAK.   
"DON'T! NET! MY! SMEET!" He shrieked. "NO ONE NETS MY SMEET!"   
Just as Vahr-Roh-Zah was about to topple over, 777 rammed him hard in the back with his horns, shoving him over the side of the city's dam and tumbling far below.   
With a deep breath, 777 collected himself and returned to where Dib and Erchi had been captured in separate nets.   
Zim, however, did not feel remotely done with Vahr-Roh-Zah, switching out his PAK to spiderlegs and scaling down the dam.   
"Don't bother, Zim, you're not going to find him." 777 called out while he studied the best way to remove the net from Dib.  
Instead of pulling the net directly off Dib, 777 opted to roll him in the opposite direction of where the wrap ended, reducing his own chance of getting shocked.   
Dib staggered up weakly, shaking from the small shocks.   
"Slow breaths." 777 patted him.   
  
Zim came back over the dam, dropping the spiderlegs back into his PAK when he got close to Erchi.   
"Hold on, I'll get you out!" He grabbed the net with both hands and was immediately beset by shocks. He yelped and jumped back. "I've still got you!" He reached back and tried again. And again. And again.  
"Should we stop him?" Dib looked at 777 nervously.   
"No. Let some electric shocks come between them. Teach him a lesson in what _that_ feels like." 777 smirked as if he had a sadistic satisfaction with the scene.  
"That doesn't sound like an ominous revenge at all." Dib watched Zim continue to try pulling the net away, while 777 retrieved his children from where he'd hidden them safely so he could shove Vahr-Roh-Zah over the edge of the dam.  
"Hey! Did you just kill that guy!?" Dib realized, following after 777.

On the verge of weakness, Zim finally pushed Erchi gently with his foot until the net unrolled.   
"Vi-Victory for Zim!" He panted wearily, before flopping weakly on the grass, head-to-head with Erchi.  
"Victory." He thrust a fist in the air with a wheeze.

************************

The city street was quiet, abandoned after mass mayhem. Zim scrambled out of the sewer, heaving and retching, both in pain from the steam coming off his body and the revolting experience he had gone through. GIR followed up behind, no worse for wear. Erchi fluttered up behind him, nearly the same size as Zim now, wings twice the size of his body.   
"And that Erchi, is what happens when we allow the Dib to mess with our plans for conquest!" Zim coughed.   
"Swallowing sewage." Erchi nodded.   
Zim moaned and gagged. "Not always! Just sometimes!"  
  
"Zim!" Dib strutted towards him, wearing gray, sharp-angled armor on his legs that lifted him higher than normal. "I knew this is where you'd end up!" He pointed at him.   
"Your Vortian technology can't stop me! YOU couldn't even stop ME using it!" Zim hobbled back onto his feet.  
"That's where you're wrong! Because YOUR weaponry was Vortian technology with Irken design in mind! I'm ALL VORT! Thanks to my new friend Zeta!"   
Zim eyed 777 a bit behind Dib.  
He was dressed as a human female from what Zim was sure was the wrong decade. Five to seven decades too late for the look. Clearly from a Halloween costume package.  
With oversized cat-eye glasses overdone with white gemstones, enormous permed hair, and a red and white polka-dot dress with a scarf and gloves, long enough to hide legs and hooves (but absurdly poofy), grasping the handle of the baby pram.  
He waved casually.  
"Heya, Zim."

  
"You look stupid!" Zim screamed from down the street. "Also, _Zeta_???"   
"Well, I'm not calling him 777! Or _Vortian_!" Dib stamped his foot - and the leg armor with it.  
"You call the Vortlets stupid things too!? What? _Alpha, Beta, and Gamma_?" Zim pressed his hands to his hips in a mocking tone.  
Dib raised a brow. "Delta, Epsilon, and Vau."   
"Not what I'll name them when it's culturally time for me, but, eh. If it keeps him from losing his mind trying to them apart." 777 shrugged, leaning his elbow the handle of the pram.  
  
"Well, I don't give an _iota!_ You with your ancient human numbers!" Zim shook his arms.   
"Erchi! Help me escape! Our plans failed!" He reached upward for Erchi to pick him up.  
"I'm coming, Pa-Pa!" Erchi quickly complied, lifting Zim off the ground and carrying him off. GIR hung on by his foot.   
As they floated off, Dib tried to give chase, but tripped over the armored legs and fell into the open sewer. 

************************

Zim cackled as he watched the news footage of Dib being rescued from the sewer. Professor Membrane snatched him out of the first responder's hands as soon as he was out, and hugged him tight, while Dib only hung in a limp daze.  
"Well, at least there were some benefits to our failure, Erchi!" Zim pointed at the screen.   
Erchi had a lower, more nasal snicker compared to Zim's full belly laugh, but it was clear that he was in on the fun.   
"It was a bad day. But a fun day. They happen. A lot." Zim crossed his arms. "I'm short a Vortian, but I've gained an Irken!" He gave Erchi a small punch on the arm.   
On the screen, Professor Membrane hugged the disguised 777 so hard, he had to keep his false glasses from flying off. He shoved them back onto his face, with barely a flash of his pink eyes being exposed.  
"Little does he know, 777 is living in his own garage." Zim snickered.   
  
He noticed Erchi staring vacantly out the window.   
"Hey, what is it?" He asked.  
"I want to see space." Erchi replied.  
"OH! Yeah, we need to go! We'll be doing a lot! We couuuld go see the Vort prison! Or you can meet the Tallest! They want to see you in person!" Zim started listing off considerations.  
"The place I came from?" Erchi suggested.  
"Oof...Asteroid Field of Deadly Bones?" Zim swung his legs, giving it a thought. "For some reason, I can't get passage to Irk, so...sure. Tomorrow?"   
Erchi smiled. "Great!"

************************

Erchi spent a good part of the ride through space with his wings spread as wide as they could in the Voot Runner, as if his first instinct was to fly. They zoomed around the asteroid field - remarkably boneless for its name - as Zim cackled through the joyride. Soon, they found a large enough asteroid to park the Voot Runner on.   
"Well! Here's the view from space!" Zim wrapped his head in an air bubble and hopped outside the ship. Erchi set his in place, but when he came outside, it didn't feel quite right.   
He could even flutter comfortably while Zim hopped around in low gravity, showing him random craters and holes.   
"And this is where the moth flock you came from attacked me! Sorry they're all dead, but...they attacked first." Zim shrugged.  
"I didn't know them." Erchi said seriously.   
It was then that Zim noticed how big he was, twice his size, and getting furrier than most Irken should be. Which was not at all.   
He was looking more and more like the space moths. He fluttered in stillness, staring out to the inky abyss of space.   
"Yep. Space sure is big!" Zim noticed he was watching another flock of space moths in the distance.   
Erchi's fuzzy antennae twitched.   
"Erchi? Hey! Erchi!" Zim called from below.   
  
"I know _them_." Erchi's voice went low. He mobilized forward, towards the others. Towards the great ball of glowing light that was a nearby collapsing star.   
"Erchi! Where are you going!?" Zim called.   
He didn't hear Erchi respond. He wasn't even sure Erchi could hear him.   
"Erchi! Hey! Erchi!" Zim tried to run for the Voot Runner - gravity was too low for him to hurry. Yet somehow, Erchi was able to resist the pull. 

  
By the time Zim was able to get into the Voot Runner, he'd lost sight of Erchi and the flock of space moths.   
They were gone faster than he'd expected.  
"Erchi!" Zim wailed. "Come back to your Papa, Erchi!" He set the Voot Runner to launch and guided it through the field down the direction the moths were going. He couldn't find them anywhere.   
He felt breathless the whole time he searched.   
This was not a Lil Meat Man feeling at all. Eventually, he did a flock of moths. He couldn't see Erchi among them.   
One was a little unusual-looking.   
It was off-green. It had red eyes glowing in the darkness and black antennae.   
There was a star-shaped spot on one of its wings. 

Zim squeaked deep in his chest.  
So much for adventures together.  
  
  
He turned the Voot Runner around and went home alone.

************************

GIR was right where Zim left him. Gnawing on corn cobs coated in the honey that Erchi had stopped eating a while back.   
There was a lot of leftover honey.   
The sight of it nearly made Zim weep.   
"Hiiii, where's Erchi!?" GIR waved at him.  
Zim dropped to the ground wailing.   
"ERCHI LEFT US!"   
It took nothing for GIR to join him, first throwing himself on the couch and then rolling on the floor.   
Zim sobbed on the floor for a few minutes, but pushed himself off the floor, wiping his eyes raggedly.  
"I have to--I have to tell the Tallest!" He hobbled upright.  
"Computer! Call the Tallest!" He sniveled, practically dragging himself to the screen.   
"...Alright." The computer responded.   
  
The musical tone played again.   
"AHH THIS THING IS STUPID!" Zim howled and wailed until the Tallest appeared on the screen.   
They only watched in horror as Zim sobbed on the ground.  
"Uh, Zim? ZIM! What the heck!?" Tallest Purple shouted over his noise.   
Zim could barely annunciation what had happened. "Bwuuuuspaceandandasteroidsandflyingandmothsandonehadredeyesand..." He pulled his antennae and flopped over again.   
  
  
"Erchiturnedintoaspacemoth!" Zim finally sputtered.   
"Yeah, that would explain the wings and antennae." Tallest Red nodded after a pause.   
"So...research concluded?" Tallest Purple tossed an emptied bag of donuts aside.  
Zim only sobbed wildly, far longer than either of the Tallest were comfortable watching.   
"Bye, then." Red awkwardly gritted his teeth and ended the transmission.   
  
Zim clutched himself under the knees, not even responding to the call ending.   
Great Irk, this hurt. It hurt deep.   
Somehow it didn't matter that what he'd dedicated so much time to raising wasn't a true Irken.   
That was his smeet that came out from the dark. And then left him into it.  
  
It was the only Irken who looked up with him. Who wanted adventure with him. And now all that was gone because of some metamorphosis that there was no chance of resisting even if he had paid attention?  
He felt used.   
As if the only point in all of this was to bring up some other creature's larva until it reached full size.  
Now what was he supposed to do with all this primal instinct?   
What was he supposed to do know that there was some unstoppable separation and--  
  
Zim hated the twist in his gut for what he was thinking. Hated it. It spurned his pride.

It meant that he did wrong and had to admit it.  
  
But he had to do it. 

************************

777 had gotten his babies settled down for the night. They seemed to like being read to as they went to sleep now. Even when the stories made no sense. He was particularly baffled by the _Floopsy Bloops Schmoopsy_ picture books.  
Floopsy deserved better than to waste her time vying for bloops from Schmoopsy! Now, Glooby! THAT was a friend worth blooping!   
His thoughts were cut short by Zim, wailing behind the garage door. Again. But this time.  
"Vortian! VORTIAN! VORTIAN!! VORTIAN!!!" A pause.  
"ZZZZETAAAA!"   
  
The littlest baby (which Dib was calling Delta and adamantly believed was a 'girl'; 777 could only humor him) started to wake up from the noise. 777 stroked her head to ease her back to sleep, before going around the house, opening the front door as softly as possible, and yanking Zim in.   
And the moment he settled on Zim, he found him a weepy, disheveled wreck.  
"Hhhhhhhhhh--hhoookay." He rolled his eyes as Zim collapsed against him with a long howl, grasping the fabric of his shirt in a struggle to stay upright.   
"Let me guess, something happen to Erchi?" 777 gripped his shoulders in hopes of maintaining some distance.  
"He left me and turned into a space moth!" Zim sobbed.   
Not the answer 777 was expecting. But then again.   
"Uh..." He still didn't exactly have comforting words.   
  
Zim pushed himself away and tried to compose himself.   
"Look, look." He cleared congestion from his throat. "I..." He shivered and twitched. "I get it. At least I think I do." He watched 777's expression furrow impatiently.  
"And it's not the same, what I did...wasn't what happened to me." He backed up a little bit.  
"Are you apologizing for _kidnapping_ my children, holding them _hostage_, and _threatening their existence_ if I didn't comply with your demands?" 777 asked.  
"...Yeah?" Somehow it felt like he wouldn't be accepting.

  
"Look...here's the thing. It sounds like Erchi _grew up_. He stopped needing you and can take care of himself." 777 cornered Zim into a wall.  
"You're going through something normal. You're going through an experience I could have_ lost_ because of you! I thought I DID lose it!"   
Zim looked aside as the Vortian became more imposing - even in hot pink flannel print shorts and sleeveless undershirt with a mild profanity in cutesy type printed on it.   
"Okay, you've made your point!" Zim tried to stand up. "Am I not allowed to apologize!?" 

777 crossed his arms. He sighed heavily.   
"You...have a whole lot of _nerve_..." He started and stopped himself. "Fine. If this is the closest modicum of you getting the faintest idea of what you put me through..." 777 pinched his brow.  
"I'll accept your apology, but that doesn't mean I'm ever going to forgive what you did to us."  
Zim squeezed past him.  
"Fine." He huffed. "I'll just go, then." Zim skulked out the door.

************************

Zim didn't feel any better about Erchi's abrput departure. Even as worse happened around him.  
Thoblorg the Maniacal held him high above his head by the collar, dangling him over a cliffside, cackling at his apparent victory.   
GIR was on fire, running and screaming in circles around the stasis field Minimoose was trapped in.   
"I have defeated you, Invader Zim!" Thoblorg chortled deeply. "And now, you won't be a menace anymore!" He dropped Zim off the cliff.  
Zim couldn't engage his jetpack yet. There wasn't enough momentum.   
Even if he was miserable about Erchi, he had to get the device Thoblorg stole from him.  
And also save GIR and Minimoose.  
And finish his mission. 

Something winded him from underneath. He smacked into something and he started going _up_.  
"Huh?" Zim rolled onto his stomach, onto a mass of green fuzz. He looked around a little bit more, realizing he'd fallen onto the back of a Space Moth.   
With black antennae. _And a star on the wing!!!_  
"ERCHI!" Zim squealed, throwing his arms behind the Space Moth's head. "Erchi, you came back!"   
Erchi sailed up the cliffside, beating his wings so hard he kicked up dust.   
The fire consuming GIR was extinguished; dust clogged the machinery powering the stasis field, sending Minimoose to float freely again.   
Erchi perched on the ground, just in front of Thorblog so he was at the edge of the cliff.  
Zim hopped off his back, flanking Thoblorg on the cliffside.   
Thoblorg snarled, pointing at Zim. "You were not supposed to have a card up your sleeve!"   
"I didn't know I did! But no matter!" He took the moment of snatching a cartridge out of Thoblorg's tentacled grasp.  
  
"Ok, Erchi, all you." Zim dusted his hands once the cartridge was stowed in his PAK.  
"Hwah?" Thoblorg was just distracted enough by Zim's departure to be startled by being grabbed by all six of Erchi's legs, lifted off the ground, hung off the cliff, and dropped.   
"So. You back for good?" Zim eagerly grasped his hands when Erchi returned.   
He didn't have a mouth anymore. Just a proboscis. Which flicked on Zim's face.   
"Uh..." Zim wasn't quite sure what to make of that.   
Erchi flapped upwards and fluttered his antennae over Zim's face.  
"Did you...come back to say goodbye?"  
Another flutter on his face.  
"Heeey, one for yes, two for no!"   
One antennae of his face.  
  
Zim felt his eyes well up, but he wiped his cheeks.   
"Could've done that in the first place!" He snivlled. "You'll visit me, right?"   
One flick.   
Zim took a deep breath. "Ok." He took a deep breath. "You want to come home for a little bit, though?" He wiped his eyes some more.   
One flick of an antennae.   
"Okidoke." Zim smiled. 

************************

Dib had usually been awakened by Zim in numerous situations, but it usually wasn't this fun. He'd set up a digital camera in hopes of sending the scene to Mysterious Mysteries.   
He leaned out his bedroom window, watching Zim call down an enormous moth from the sky - and then chase it, screaming as it instead hovered and fluttered around every lamppost it came upon.   
"ERCHI NO, NOT THE LAMPS! COME TO PAPA, ERCHI!"   
Eventually, Zim ran head-long into a pole, his whole body thrown into it with full force.   
777 had crept up to watch as well, as Zim continued to trip and crash between lampposts in a vain effort to lure the big moth away from him, until they had gone down the street into the distance.  
"Hey...you left the cap on the camera." 777 pointed to it.  
"OH FOR--"

**Author's Note:**

> There, a story without Zim being a complete monster. It...basically just ended up being pieces of adventures scrapped together because I was running out of steam, but it was still a lot of fun. So I guess Zim has a Space Moth son now??? I GUESS???
> 
> Might do something with Tallest Purple's jealousy about the flying smeet.
> 
> 777 has multiple human disguises, but the 50's Housewife costume one is just for if he needs to take the babies with him. The trouble is it's the wrong decade, so it just draws attention in a different way than he wanted to detract. He's still on the drawing board on a more modern look that he can hide his horns with.
> 
> What happened on Planet Yurf???? The world may never know. Because it was a noodle incident that I'm not going to write.


End file.
